4 Things that Make Relationships Bright + Beautiful
Who doesn’t love a good love story, right? You know the plot well.
Boy meets girl.
They fall in love.
They go to extravagant means to be together.
They have some falling out.
They clear up the misunderstandings and make up.
They live happily ever after.
The end.
Recently, I found the perfect opportunity to rewatch a series set in Cornwall, England. It is filled with all sorts of love stories, intrigues and tragedies. It is so compelling to live a love story along with those to whom it belongs, even if it is made up by some author!
Why? What is it that appeals to women (and men) so much in a good love story?
Perhaps we all have a longing in our hearts. In fact, we know we do. It’s a yearning that sneaks up on us. We want to love and be loved. We desire to be someone’s beloved. We want to know we are significant - the one and only. We were made for more, and it reflects in the longings of our hearts.
This longing is a gift from God. Not everyone experiences it in the same way, but even those who are not married can act on the longings with the ideas below for a more fulfilling life in their unique relationships.
Almost five decades ago, my beloved pursued me at college, and we have been blessed with an amazing life filled with love. Here are a few tips we learned along the way. These little things add up in a big way. They help carry us through when our strength is low and we might think you are better alone.
4 Things that Make Relationships Bright + Beautiful
1. Forgive right away. A soft answer turns away wrath, the Bible says. It is true that iron sharpens iron. In one respect, conflict is good for the relationship. But when it gets ugly and accusational, the fine line between love and hate is crossed. No longer is the issue “who is right,” but “who is wrong” takes over. At that point in time, both of us are wrong. Own it! Remember all the grace we have in what God forgave us? Can we extend just a teeny amount of that to our spouse/friend/family member? Get to being sorry for the disagreement in a hurry, because the truth is, digging in only hardens your own heart.
2. Dance more. When our oldest son was getting married, we took ballroom dancing lessons and learned how fun the task can be! Years later, my husband regularly picks up my hand and off we go, waltzing around the island in the kitchen. Of course, we’d rather be on an island somewhere far away, but the few minutes of togetherness seem to renew our joy, if only for a moment. Single? Dance as David did, to the Lord!
3. Worry less. Everything that happens in life is a lesson to be learned. Fretting over every little thing is putting your trust in how much you care rather than in who cares for you the most. We know that God has loved us first, cares the most and is willing and able to do more than we can think or imagine. Give it to Him sooner, better, and easier! Cast your worries to each other, but then ultimately, give them up to God.
4. Know that your life together is impossible. Impossible without God, I mean! Just think what God went through to get the two of you together in the first place. He orchestrated the situations in your life that caused you to see and be seen. He made you like each other, want each other, care for each other, marry each other. So much of life is filled with wonder! Clearly, the reason you are together just has to be attributed to something bigger. And with the eyes of faith, we see the love behind God’s plan. It is personal and unique for each one. As Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but with God nothing is impossible.”
Celebrate the great privilege of putting the Gospel on display with your own love story. Reflect Jesus the bridegroom and his bride the Church by how you treat each other, support each other, uplift each other and cherish each other! There is nothing more beautiful than the desire the Lord has to be with each of us, as only he can accomplish. Our lives can reflect that singular devotion in marriage, working together to create a life.
The only difference is the end of the story. In this life, the end will be painful as we suffer the consequences of what sin has brought into the world - separation. All pain will eventually disappear, though, as we open our eyes to the true love story. Our time together on earth will not compare to the eternal joy of looking full into the eyes of Jesus. Then everything else will seem to fade into oblivion as we enjoy knowing full the glorious grace of His love!
Father, you created marriage and relationships as a way to put the Gospel on display. Before sin entered, human relationships were easy, and full of unbridled love. Restore that kind of love as much as is possible while we are walking this journey together. Help us to learn to forgive quickly, worry less, dance more, and revel in the joy of living the impossible life of believers - together! Thank you for my spouse, my partner to walk alongside in this journey of life. Remind us of the great privilege of putting your love for your church on display with our lives. Give us grace for each other and strength to live each day anew in your forgiveness and love.
In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.