A Baby King - A Tale of Two Funerals
The word self-care is popping up everywhere these days. And what does that mean? Of course you feed yourself, dress yourself, wash yourself, but real self-care involves the spiritual self, not just the physical. It means taking time to rest or be refreshed, whatever that looks like for you. To me it usually means finding alone time. Time to be focused and self aware seems like a luxury these days, and I thrive on the chance to think and analyze, to pray, reflect and process.
I usually don’t plan for alone time proactively…. I wait until it’s too late. I’m in the middle of a day where my five year old has literally not stopped talking, and my 18 month old has scattered my patience all over the kitchen with the canned goods cupboard. Or I have ten tabs open at work, an email half written and a photo gallery exporting when the power flickers out during a the wind advisory. Isn’t it funny the ways God calls you from the distraction of this world, into the calm of his presence?
It was one of those days where I was frazzled but mostly on time and not forgetting anything major; I did my makeup in the car and was patient with my daughter and ALL the outdoor gear at nature 4K. :) It was oddly quiet in the car alone, and the grey sky seemed like a Pride and Prejudice scene, perfect for ruminating on a walk or sitting with my thoughts by the lake. Instead of taking the freeway I drove slowly south along the shore, through old neighborhoods and unintentionally past the house of a friend. My thoughts drifted back to the sad news of her adult son lost in a sudden accident months ago. I had heard about the accident and been heartbroken, their family was so warm and close knit. I immediately offered to stop by with food, and planned to send a plant or a card— and there, at the card, I was stuck. She is Jewish so exactly what to say or write would take some time to sort out. Time I hadn’t yet had. What do you say at the funeral of someone who doesn’t know Jesus? What does she believe about the afterlife? How strange I realized, not to know where she stands. To imagine life with a big question mark at the end.
What a blessing to know most of my friends are comforted by the sure hope of heaven. This hope calms our fears and lifts the believer’s tear stained face to the cross, the brilliant silver-lining in loss.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going… Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:1-6
A few weeks ago I was at a different funeral with a different tone. My best friend from high school said goodbye (for now) to her mom, who had struggled for years with dementia. Not as sudden a passing as a fall or accident, but equally as cruel and at 62 years young. I was glad to be able to attend her Christian funeral on a cold, November day in northern Wisconsin. The ground at the burial looked hard and depressing, covered with patchy snow, the lonely graves in lines overlooking a subdivision. Family and friends in snow boots huddled in a clump around the casket. Not exactly the most joyful scene. But her mother wasn’t there. She was long gone to the throne of David! And I didn’t wonder what to tell my friend as I hugged her that day. God gives us the words:
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
Amid the gift and the lights, this year my friends will have holes in their hearts and an empty place at their tables. What a gift, this time to ponder these women linked in loss: one now a Grandma, mourning her son. One, now a motherless mother. And another mom no stranger to grief, Mary the mother of the Savior. They all shared the young-mother years, pouring themselves into childrearing, sacrificing, dreaming, cheerleading, guiding, but two watched their babies grow to be strong young men, only to have them snatched away. Did Mary’s faith in the resurrection carry her through the stinging truth that her joyful six year old would grow up to die on a cross? I think so! Jesus’ promise of life after death might seem like a New Testament hope but has roots deep in the Old Testament, for the Jews, for the Gentiles. Mary grew up learning about a God who delivers his people and keeps his word. Her son was, IS everything God promised:
In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan—
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.
Isaiah 9:1b-7
It’s advent now, a time when the natural world slows down to embrace a season of indwelling, of darkness before light, cold before warmth, and scarcity before abundance. All around we see barrenness yet know a joyful rebirth is in store. How fitting that God would have creation mirror his plan for salvation. :) I relish the slower evenings of candles, thicker blankets, tea, carols, treasured traditions centered on joy a dark world can not touch. This month a baby is coming whose mother would marvel as she traced his cheek, that her infant son was God incarnate. A King bringing hope. The best Comfort to share with my friends, the best Gift to give my children. A baby to change your life and mine for eternity! If I had years of quiet alone-time I couldn’t wrap my head around that.
“Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,
for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees,
oh hear the angel voices.
Oh night divine,
O night when Christ was born…”