Looking Past the Dirty Window
“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
I've never been great at mornings.
In fact, I'm quite certain my husband spent the first several months of our marriage leaving the house convinced I was mad at him because I barely uttered two words to him while we both prepared ourselves for the day.
So these colder months bring about an even bigger challenge for those of us who find it tough to get going. The below freezing temperatures makes the bed feel that much more comfortable and the lack of daylight makes it even more difficult to convince our brains that it's time to get up.
But as with most aspects of life, having kids has caused the mornings to take on a whole new “struggle”, as it were. For there is no mercy for this brain and body which like to ease in to the day when there are four little ones (two of which take after my husband in their ability to rise-and-shine) needing to get to school.
For those of you in the Midwest, you know that last week got cooooold. I'm talking morning temperatures in the teens. So when my alarm went off and it was barely light out, I was anything but excited to crawl out of the cozy warmth of my bed. As I drudged to the bathroom and then back to my nightstand, fumbling for my glasses, I could see the small sliver of sunlight coming through around the shades, beckoning me to start the day and let the morning in.
As is my custom, I gave myself a few extra minutes to mentally prepare for the go-go-go hour to follow by pulling back the drapes, drawing the shades and putting my bed back together. As I moved to my husband's side of the bed, I sighed as I reminded myself that he not only got up before the sunrise even during the summer months but that he had also already been at work for over an hour (there's a reason God made him the morning person in our relationship ;). I pulled the shade up which covered his window and finally stood up straight for the first time that morning.
I took my first breath in and marveled. The sun, that glorious, golden beacon was peering out just over the house across the street. The slight dusting of frost made everything glisten, almost sparkle with light, calling for the day to begin. I reached for my phone to capture the scene – after all, this was an experience I rarely have when the sun makes its appearance any earlier.
Maybe this is just the perfectionist/photographer in me, but have you ever noticed how perfect you thought a scene looked until you put it through some sort of lens? As I tried to set up the shot, I noticed how absolutely filthy those panes were. I must've adjusted my angle at least a dozen times, attempting to find one that wouldn't show the endless dust and smudges which covered the glass. Remembering that I needed to get on with the day, I surrended to that imperfect scene, snapped one last shot and said “good enough”.
Such an insignificant part of the day. Or was it?
I have thought of that window so many times over this past week (notice I said thought of, not cleaned!). On a morning, like many, when all I wanted to do was go back to bed, God saw fit to create an amazing masterpiece which I would've missed had I not taken the time to notice it or simply focused on the filthy glass.
But how many times do we look past the gifts in our lives because we're focused on the imperfections which surround us? How often do we only see the bad and miss the good? And it's hard not to, isn't it?
Because the truth is, this life, this world, will always fall short. It will always disappoint. There is not a single aspect of this journey which has not be affected by sin. As we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, the devil is going to be working overtime on all of our hearts. Feelings of frustration, discontentment and “why me” are going to well up in us and threaten to ruin any and all gratitude and joy. The devil wants us to focus on the dirty window.
If God really loved you, why wouldn’t He take the illness away?
If God really wanted to bless you, why wouldn’t He allow you to get pregnant?
If God really was who He says He is, why hasn't He provided the job your family so desperately needs?
If God really cared, why is parenting such an uphill battle?
If God really knew your heart, why wouldn’t He lead you to “the one” so you could stop being so lonely?
The questions are endless. And the devil wants nothing more than to steal your joy.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
What gifts in your life are you missing? Maybe things are really tough right now. Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel of whatever you're facing is so dim that you're starting to lose hope. God has not abandoned you, my friend. He is standing there, arms open wide, waiting for you to stand up straight and take that first breath in. He's bestowing grace, mercy, gifts upon you every day, even though they may not be the ones you think you need. For He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). It just may be that the “gift” in this moment is the struggle. How's that for a paradox?
Don't believe the lie that God has forgotten you or that you deserve more than He has seen fit to give you in this moment. For we are all sinners, in desperate need of His forgiveness and grace. And that is already yours through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This life is but a blink compared to the eternity that awaits us.
He is faithful. He does not change.
So this holiday season, pray for peace. Pray for joy. Pray for forgiveness for the times you've believed the lie and lost sight of the gifts. And then pray that God gives you the wisdom to look past the dirty window. Because sometimes, the sin makes the gift that much more beautiful.
“Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
