Outside My Comfort Zone
Apart from myself, my husband and a few family members, nobody really knows what I do for work, who I’m working for or what my schedule looks like … and I don’t blame them in the slightest. For two years, I’ve been navigating the unpredictable world of freelance copywriting and it’s been a journey, to say the least. I’d love to say that it’s the perfect fit for me because there really are so many benefits. My hours are fairly flexible. I get to work from home (meaning I can throw in a load of laundry between meetings and projects). It allows me to make time for the kids’ appointments and practices and school events.
But over the years, I’ve discovered that these freedoms come with a cost. Each client is perfectly free to decide not to renew my contract due to budget constraints or that they would rather hire a full-time employee than work with a part-time contractor. I’ve bounced around more than I’ve wanted to and constantly have to wonder, “What’s next?” It seems that just as I get familiar with a client and feel confident in the work, my circumstances change. I’ve learned to roll with it, but freelancing has consistently pushed me outside of my comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable for me to have an unpredictable workload and, at times, unpredictable hours. It’s uncomfortable to not know exactly where I’ll be working six months from now. It’s uncomfortable when “mom life” and “work life” collide in the most stressful of ways. (Screaming babies and virtual meetings aren’t the best mix as it turns out.)
There have been several days when I’ve wanted to throw up my hands and call it quits. “It’s too hard,” I lament. “I feel like I’m failing at work and at home,” I sigh when “work-life balance” seemingly lies just beyond reach.
Recently, I decided that it was time to stop, reflect, and evaluate. In slowing down to think things over, I found myself focusing not on the stressors of freelance life and how to rid myself of them, but on an undeniable truth that has been revealed through all of it. I may be working outside of my comfort zone, but God isn’t.
God isn’t overwhelmed by a busy schedule or demanding deadlines. He isn’t worried about “What’s next?” or “What if?” He doesn’t feel ill-equipped to handle it all and make the best decisions. Everything is already going according to His plan and He needs me to trust it.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8
Sometimes it seems like my life is constantly being uprooted, but maybe that’s because I’ve tried to put down roots where they don’t belong. Putting your faith in the things or people of this world for stability can only lead to heartbreak. Because just when things seem to strike the perfect balance in our lives, we know that those circumstances are fleeting. Everything and everyone who enters our lives has been touched by sin. Certainty can only be found on the solid ground of faith in Christ Jesus.
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” Matthew 7:24-25
I’m bound to have several uncomfortable days ahead of me in my job, and certainly in my life. Whenever I find myself outside of my comfort zone again, I can feel confident that God is right there beside me, right in His element.