Scorpions, Ticks, and the Pursuit of Contentment
“Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.” - Jeremiah Burroughs
I admit it—I screamed. I also flailed and kicked. It's possible (okay, highly likely) that I shouted, “I hate the desert!” There was, after all, a live scorpion on my severely distended abdomen, and pregnant women from the Midwest don't generally handle that situation with grace.
Yes, I pretty much hated living in the desert at times. It wasn't merely because of the scorpions that stung my children, fell through ceiling vents, and hid under bedding. It wasn't only the black widow nest that hatched in the garage or the five-inch centipedes scurrying across the floor. It really wasn't the garden that wouldn't grow or the lack of autumnal beauty or even the distance from family. In reality, it wasn't even the desert.
It was something deeper. It was a heart issue. It was discontent.
I wonder if God chuckled when I told my new husband that I'd follow him anywhere except the desert. I had traveled much of North America and western Europe, and the only place I didn't think I could be happy was, you guessed it, the desert. Two years into marriage, there we were—hello, Mojave! Good one, God. Very funny.
Overall, we had a wonderful life there, but when circumstances did not match my expectations, malcontent began to fester and spores spread until some days I was blind to my blessings and purpose. In the moment, I couldn't see the beautiful mountains surrounding us, but only the scorpions and scrub at my feet.
Can you relate?
Interestingly, one of my biggest areas of discontent was that I, as a follower of Christ, suffered from discontent. I was not content with my Christian growth or my state of heart; I wanted a big ol' heaping helping of the peace that surpasses all understanding. Gimme! Now!
Can you still relate?
Fast forward a decade or so to the year one of our daughters was saddled with a life-altering medical diagnosis, our new baby was born sickly, and we lost our business, our side hustle, and our income. We moved from our self-built 3000-square-foot house to a used 225-square-foot travel trailer. With seven children, a giant dog, and $500, we began a new life singing in churches, living in their parking lots. Life was frightening, lonely, and painful as almost all of our worldly security was rapidly stripped away—yet out of that painful transitional year I emerged, for the most part, content.
What changed?
If I don't talk about scorpions anymore, will you join me as I walk through my spiritual journey? Excellent! No more scorpion talk. Let's go.
For all of my adult life, I longed for the contentment that Paul described in Philippians 4:12: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation [emphasis mine].” Even in my foolishness, I was wise enough to know that a change of scenery does not create a change of heart. As my mother taught, “Wherever you go, there you are.” My struggle could not be fixed through circumstances because it was bigger than that.
My husband, Stephen Bautista, sang very clearly about the epidemic I was part of in his song, “God-Shaped Hole”:
There’s a God-shaped hole / In our broken souls
There’s a missing part / From our failing hearts
We try to fill it up / With the things we love
Still there’s a God-shaped hole.
I saw the problem. I needed the solution.
I searched Paul's letter to the Philippians for a 12-step program, sort of a class syllabus, but I came up dry. I prayed for contentment, struggled for it, faked it, discontentedly pined away after it, even idolized it, but Paul's secret alluded me. Why didn't he simply say, “This is how you become content?”
Ah, but he did. And so did King David and Solomon and prophets and apostles and Jesus Himself. The concept of contentment really is quite simple, to the point that I'm embarrassed by how long it took me to grasp.
Are you ready? Here it is:
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Ah, now we're talking! The desires of my heart. Okay, God, I love you. I believe in Jesus. Now fill the hole.
Read that verse again. Delight yourself in the Lord. If we are delighting in the Lord, we are aligning our wills with His so that the desires of His heart become the desires of our hearts. In fact, God Himself becomes the greatest desire of our hearts.
Excuse me if I get repetitive, but it took me years—decades really—to fully process this concept. God will give me the desires of my heart when He is the desire of my heart and in humble and active obedience I submit to His will in my life and trust Him fully. He is my fulfillment, my contentment, my all. I finally realized this when almost everything else was gone...but I still had enough.
Suddenly, you're re-thinking the high-end truck, spring break trip, nicer house, retirement fund, or career goals, aren't you? Even good health, flawless patience, a stronger marriage, or a houseful of babies doesn't seem to matter as much. Right? Well, that's not exactly how it works.
A focus-shift toward contentment is definitely not sudden, nor does it negate our need to live in (not of) this world. Also, contentment doesn't rid us of the desires God Himself places within our hearts, such as the unquenchable hunger of the womb or the calling to grow more like Him. Contentment does, however, look to God instead of to His blessings for our fulfillment. It also prevents us from seeking out the wrong blessings or pursuing His blessings in sinful, worldly, or all-consuming ways.
Processing Psalm 37:4 is only the beginning of the contentment journey. How do we get there and stay there?
Here are a mere handful of the multitude of practical tips I've garnered from the Good Book to help us focus on the mountains and also find beauty in the scrub:
Focus upward. When Paul says he has “the secret,” he also says in verse 14 that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. We must stop relying on our own strength and wisdom to pursue our “things;” rather, we need to release full control into the hands of an unchanging, unwavering, reliable God with complete child-like trust and obedience as we do His “things.” It may look like foolishness, but we can trust Him with the results—His results, the desires of our hearts—every time.
Focus on gratitude. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul says to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you....” Remember, we are delighting in God's will—it is now our will. Everything God orchestrates in our lives is for His good and worthy purpose and for the good of those He has called. So thank God, if not for the circumstance, within the circumstance, even if it makes no rational, worldly sense. It makes sense to God, and His wisdom is unfathomably...well, wise.
Focus inward at your own path. Psalm 139:16 shares a fantastic revelation: “In your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me.” Formed for me! God—the God—formed days for each of us. Don't pine after your brother's seemingly better days when yours were uniquely formed for you. Be content with being part of God's bigger plan. If God chooses to reveal it in heaven, you will see the impact your path, however humble, has had on the souls of others. Wow!
Focus outward in service and generosity. I often tell my little cookie monster, “Look for the biggest cookie; then leave it for someone else.” Proverbs 11:25 says that when we look out for the needs of others, we receive our own blessing: “Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” On the other hand, Proverbs 14:30 cautions against longing for our neighbor's bigger cookie: “Envy makes the bones rot.” Ew.
Focus forward. Focus on the things ahead—God's will, God's glory, and life with God. Everything here, except souls, is temporary. Why do we long for more rust-and-dust blessings in this life when eternity is our goal? Isaiah understood the secret: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)
Does it work? Is contentment attainable? Did I achieve a permanent state of contentment?
Well...lately I'm dealing with Wisconsin ticks and, to be truthful, some days I mutter, “I miss the desert,” as I bag and label yet another blood-sucking parasite extracted from my children's flesh. Our sinful response to circumstances, the glittering lies of Satan, and the lure of the world combine to pull us away from the blessings of peace and stillness of spirit.
Contentment is work. It's a daily conscious denial of our human tendency toward control, comparison, fear, and desire; it's also the life-long process of submitting in full trust and obedience to the days God has formed for us as we pursue His good and gracious will. It's a difficult journey worth pursuing. Here's why:
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him;though he may stumble, he will not fall,for the Lord upholds him with his hand. ”
I have one last thought, this one from C.S. Lewis, because we never really feel entirely “content” here, do we?
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
Focus with me on the other world while walking in trusting obedience through the deserts of this one, scorpions and all. (Oops. I mentioned scorpions again, didn't I? Sorry.)