We Take Care of Each Other
“Hi Neighbor!” One of my nieces’ favorite shows is Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, today’s generation’s animated TV show based on the characters and themes of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. I think it’s a cute show that grown ups can actually enjoy watching with kids, and it has the best messages, all set to catchy music.
The song that’s been repeating in my mind lately is “We Take Care of Each Other.” It’s such a simple message and reassuring for kids that friends and family are watching out for them, but how often do we as adults believe that?
Our American culture prizes independence and self-sufficiency. We make our own money to provide things for ourselves to not need anyone else. We don’t borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor anymore. We don’t want to bother anyone. We can take care of ourselves. So we hole away in our homes, place that Amazon order, and schedule that Target pick up. We’re fine.
Did we pick up on some habits from during lockdown that we’ve continued for our own convenience?
Are those shortcuts always worth it?
What are we missing when we try to do everything on our own and avoid talking to people?
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Even if you have a spouse, you still need community. Friends. Family. Different close relationships that benefit you all in complementary ways. It’s beautiful to see how the early church began-- gathering together, sharing what they had, encouraging each other in their common faith.
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Acts 2:42-47
In America, we likely won’t face the level of persecution and danger they faced, but it doesn’t mean this model is completely outdated. I think the community aspect of how they lived enabled them to thrive and grow the church.
Imagine if we relied on each other more, got to know our neighbors, and were in each other’s business but learned how to work out our problems instead of canceling each other.
It’s ok to be needy. We all need things and were not built to take care of everything alone. We trust and rely on God, but he often supplies his care and support through other people. Are you pushing away potential blessings from God by trying to do everything on your own?
Others need you. We hide our needs well, but we’re all struggling in one way or another. How can you reach out and support someone else? Recall that early church generosity and encouragement.
It’s not always your turn. If you are in a hard place physically or emotionally, it can be taxing to try and support others too, so it is ok if you’re not able to reach out right now. Don’t feel like you’re a bad friend if you don’t have the capacity to help. Learn to rest and let others take care of you in this season. Allowing someone else to do something for you (even if you technically could muster the strength to take care of it yourself) can make them feel good too. Let those moments be mutually beneficial! Friends or family members supporting each other in a hard time can bring your relationships even closer for years to come, but it does take vulnerability. I’ve never felt closer to friends than when I’ve broken down in tears in front of them, with them knowing all my struggles. Later, when you’re in a better place, remember how it felt to be cared for and offer that kind of love to others.
How can we be more intentional in showing our neediness and being there for others in theirs?
Here are just a few ideas to get you started:
Bring a meal to a friend or say you’ll come over and cook or clean for them. Ease someone’s stress, let them know you don’t care about the state of their house, and just be together. Relationships take time and effort.
Ask someone to take you to the airport instead of paying for an Uber. Ask for help with a house project, or to borrow a tool. Asking shows that you consider this person close enough to you and will make them feel valued.
Offer to babysit and let the parents enjoy some time away. Or hang out with the whole gang of kids, knowing true friends won’t judge each other for the mess and tears.
Send a card or ‘thinking of you’ note. The minor effort of snail mail means a lot.
Call each other regularly, or my favorite- group video chat with a few close friends on the Marco Polo app! Recording myself speaking whatever thoughts come to my brain helps me feel closer with my friends because we talk about literally anything and everything. Sending video messages also works great for us because we don’t have to schedule time for a long group phone call. You can watch and respond to each others’ messages whenever you have the time.
Ask each other deeper, real questions. Get past the surface level day-to-day. How are you really doing? IF:Table has some great free conversation starters.
Send texts of your actual prayers for your friends. It’s one thing to hear a friend say they’re praying for you, but to know their actual words can be a beautiful thing too. Sometimes when we’re out of words to pray for ourselves, even simple prayers from a friend can be the encouragement we need.
Let’s be brave, less lonely, and on Christian mission together!
For more on building deeper friendships, I highly recommend Jennie Allen’s book Find Your People. If you’re about four years old, I recommend Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.