When They Don't Deserve Your Love
“When he left the room I bent over saying – “I’ve just hugged the man who’d murdered my son”. Then, as I got up, I felt something rising from the soles of my feet and leaving me. From that day on I haven’t felt any hatred, animosity or anger. It was over.” - Mary Johnson, The Forgiveness Project
How can this be? How can a parent lose their only son and extend love to the one who took his life away so carelessly?
Our Heavenly Father knows all too well.
But His one and only son chose to die for you and me.
Let this mind be in us which was also in Christ Jesus:
“Who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped,
but emptied Himself,
taking the form of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross.”
Jesus’ teachings on love are some of the most difficult to accept.
Love is absolutely more than a feeling. As unromantic as it sounds, love is a choice.
Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He chose it.
“For at just the right time, while we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. It is rare indeed for anyone to die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
In the same way, we are commanded to love our enemies.
We are called to imitate Jesus’ humility.
But… but… what’s in it for me? That’s the whole thing! THIS kind of love is so high, so deep, so wide, and SO POWERFUL that we are never lacking when we extend it to others. In fact, I’d argue the opposite.
We received this love freely. So what is our motivation to share it? Not to gain something in return!
We consider their souls before our comfort.
When we hear stories like that of Mary and Oshea we recognize that THIS kind of love is something the world cannot offer.
I pray that the Word of God transforms our minds and hearts to view our troubled relationships or even hate for others as an opportunity for God’s glory to show up.
Jesus’ love isn’t fair.
We do not get what we deserve.
Jesus’ love breaks chains from around hearts!
Do you know what happens when we love the way Jesus does? Satan recoils back.
Love is our greatest weapon!
As much as we want to protect ourselves from pain or see justice served on this side of heaven, take these passages to heart and consider Jesus who endured all things to save us.
When they don’t deserve your love… abide in Jesus’ love.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”
When they don’t deserve your love… stay vulnerable.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.”
When they don’t deserve your love… forgive them.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
When they don’t deserve your love… do the opposite than the world.
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
When they don’t deserve your love… trust in God’s ability to love. Not your own.
“...the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.”
When they don’t deserve your love… God will defend you.
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
When they don’t deserve your love… view life in span of eternity.
“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
When they don’t deserve your love… remember God’s mercy.
“For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”
When they don’t deserve your love… never give up hope.
“Through Jesus we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Your love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Lord, empty us of ourselves and pour into our hearts Your love through the Holy Spirit. Sacrificial. Whole. Pure. What wondrous love this is! We confess that we often love others conditionally or to gain it back in return. Thank you for telling and showing us what true love is. Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, help us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Give us your strength to run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set before him - he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sits at the right hand of Your throne. May I never forget him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12)
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
*** Please note that this blog post is not in support of women or men staying in abusive relationships. If you are in a relationship that needs professional help please contact a local counselor or the National Domestic Violence Hotline for guidance.
