Failing into 2020

New Year. New expectations. New goals. New dreams. New failures… 

I fear failure. I think most of us do. Some people are better at moving forward once it happens, but nobody gets through life without it. Some failures are public and some are secret, but for an organized control freak like me, they make me feel pretty worthless whether anyone else knows about them or not.  

What was your biggest failure of 2019? Yes, I’m asking you to go there. This might hurt. It’s hurting me right now, but since January seems to be the month of self-reflection and transformation, this could be the time to examine why that failure hurt so much, so we can see where we are placing our value and trust.

What did you work really hard on, but still came up short?

What did you honestly not put enough effort into, and obviously received less than desirable results?

For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.
Psalm 40:12

It’s okay to grieve those things we messed up or when we let someone down. We are human and we have sin in us. What matters is our response.

1. First things first: confess your sins to God. If your failure stemmed from breaking God’s holy laws, given as a perfect guide for us, start here. I honestly don’t think we do this enough. We brush things off as a mistake, blame someone else, or downplay the bad thing we did, but how often do we look ourselves in the mirror and say out loud, “God- that was my fault and I was wrong. That was not what you wanted for me, but I disobediently thought I knew better. I’m sorry. Help me make amends to those I hurt, and help me honor you like you deserve.”  Lay down your pride. 

2. Figure out why that failure hurt so much. Is your identity wrapped up in perfection? Is that thing from 2019 dominating who you now think you are? Have you let that mistake rename you? I’m just a mess up. I’m broken. I can’t get anything right.

Maybe you’ve seen your self-confidence tank, or you don’t freely try as many new things out of fear. Have you taken on a new label that’s going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy? 

Other people call us names. We call ourselves names. But only God can truly name us. He is our Creator, Sustainer, and Loving Father.

But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
 I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1

We belong to God, and He thinks you’re worth everything. God sent his only son Jesus, in our place, to bear every horrible sin, failure, and heartbreak, so that our eternities would not depend on us. Since the beginning, God knew we could never be perfect enough to save ourselves, so let’s stop acting like we are! 

Our identity is in Christ, not in what we do, don’t do, have, or don’t have. If you’re past failure is still clinging to you, think about where you are placing the most value in your life - your job, your perfect family, your ego. Using your gifts to honor God and serve others is the goal, not doing it in a beautiful, Instagramable way, that makes 100 people think you’re mildly cool. God knows everything and see past your filters anyway. 

3. Find the courage to try again. Jesus took all punishment and shame, once for all. Don’t live in a place of fear and failure that He already redeemed. It’s like wasting the greatest gift ever given! 

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold...Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart…. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

2 Corinthians 3:12,17,18 and 4:1, 7-10  (but really, just take a few minutes to read all of chapters 3 and 4 for some great, meaty truths)

4. He is not moved by perfection. If you’re a big Hillsong United fan like me, you might recognize that line from their song “Ready or Not.” I often sing in my church’s worship band, and this song has become my regular meditation as I drive to church early Sunday morning. If I’m anxious about how the service will go or if I’ll mess up, I come back to these lyrics. It’s an invitation to come to God with everything: all you are, all you were, or all you want to be. 

“He's not moved by perfection
Or how well we look the part
But He's wild about the hidden stuff
Like He's wild about the heart”

The song builds and starts listing everything God has ALREADY done. We don’t have to prove anything, earn anything. We just come.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Hebrew 13:21

The word “perfect” in the New Testament is usually a translation of the Greek word “teleios” which means “is complete, having reached the end.” (Blue Letter Bible) We cannot be perfect because we’re not at the end, which is heaven. God will bring everything to perfect completion one day, but we have to learn to let go of that humanly unattainable ideal and believe that Christ’s power in us is more than enough.

5. What do you need to leave behind in 2019? Name it or write it down. Maybe you even get dramatic and burn it. But make an intention of how you will rise up in 2020 full of faith and trust, believing that “a better life” does not come through sheer willpower and hustle. 

Here are a few to get you started. I’m leaving behind:
-Old labels like______ that don’t define me like God does.
-Sins like_____ that God has already forgiven me for.
-Doubts and fears that I’m not enough or that God is not enough.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5

6. Pray. Take a few minutes to say your own prayer out loud to God. Or write it down. This tends to keep my prayer focused and feels more personal when I am literally talking to God. Here are some thoughts to bring before God as you enter another year, forever in his presence.

-For my own goals: help me let go of the past failures and not worry about being perfect
-For those who serve: help the people who are often in public roles of service (like pastors or worship leaders) serve for God’s glory, not my praise or approval. Help me give them grace, understanding, and encouragement instead of judgement.
-For people around me who are struggling to let go of certain failures in their past, whether by their own fault or not: help them feel loved, worthy, and capable of moving forward in faith instead of fear 

Amen.